Goodbye, cruel world!

Ah, the last hot shower in normal conditions. The last normal meal behind a fixed table. The last glimps of Internet for some time. The last hours in a BED!

In five hours I’ll be on a plane flying towards Copenhagen. And then the fun begins. Living in a tent and alongside with thousands of other people with their tents. No normal conditions for… Anything.

—
Bye, bye love
Bye, bye happy days
Hello, loneliness
I think I’m gonna die…

No-one steals behind a thief…

…Or so they say. Reading movie reviews makes me often question whether the writers have bothered to see the bloody movies in the first place. Or do they just take a look at the (sometimes inaccurate) synopsis and declare that “they are smart enough to tell people what to think”. Anyways, it only matters that you can use a lot of posh semiotic truths and by that review anything you know the title of, right?

Before going to Lithuania I had a chance to see a German-Romanian movie called “Beautiful Bitch”. From the previews I found out that the story takes place in my future home, Bucharest. And as they said, it is about two girls who befriend each other and the rich girl (Milka) basically saves the poor one (Bica) from living like that.

Well, yeah. Only there are many loopholes in these previews (and not-surprisingly in the reviews of many critics). Like the basic fact that they show very little of Bucharest in the movie. The action takes place in Germany, where to Bica leaves to earn enough money to help out her little brother who was taken away from her by the social workers.

The other thing is the line “Bica is better known by nickname Bitch on the streets”. Well, when you hear only one spoiled rich brat (said to be a friendly girl) call her Bitch – for she has no idea how you have to pronounce a Romanian name like Bica (you say it bii’tsa) and says the first similar and a bit degrading thing that pops into her head – then surely you can say that everybody calls her like that. Even if they don’t.

It’s even funny how some critics can be so sure about their knowledge that they can say “what a life-distant movie, nobody lives like that” and “the other movie I know (and which I actually saw) is so much better than this one”. Well. Nobody knows how people really live in circumstances they’ve never been in. You can guess and you can talk about what you think (in the form “I think”, not “it’s like that and that’s the way it is”). But you can never know the life apart your own.

You see, some filmmakers have actually done some research for their movies. They roughly know how thing are said to be, they have talked to people in these conditions and then they present one way of telling a story which actually is a mixture of many different stories. Okay, this girl didn’t have that problem, but this one did, he wasn’t like that, but he was. And all these sort of things. How can you say then, that this isn’t the real thing? You can’t. Someone might be living it. Go tell them that their lives are not real.

For me, most of the storyline seemed authentic enough. The streets of the poor neighborhood and the malls of a well-fare Western Europe. The poor conditions Bica and the other thieves were said to live in, weren’t a classical dirt-and-cobwebs everywhere. It looked like a normal out-of-hand apartment when you haven’t got the time or the money to fix it up. It’s a normal place to be, because you need a roof above your head. And that made it felt real enough for me.

Okay, some of the storyline, especially what it comes to relationships, were a bit of a make-believe. Well. You’re a spoiled girl and you see a girl who steals your father’s wallet, you chase her around, punch her the next time you see her, hold a grudge against her for a couple of days and then be her best fiend even though she doesn’t talk to you much and the guy you like, starts liking her. But, hey, the heroine must have a friend.

Margit Adorf wrote in an Estonian culture-newspaper Sirp that the ending of the movie was kind of sweet like a syrup and that in a bad sense of it. Really? Well, Bica had all the chances to stay in Germany and start living a normal life there. She said no, got back to Romania and nothing really changed for her.

She didn’t steal any more and got a non-paid job at the same kiosk she used to steal from. But she got back to the same poor conditions she was before, the same neighborhood. Even her new sneakers she stole from Germany got stoled back in Bucharest. So, how can you say that no-one steals behind a thief and how can you call this “happy end” and not the reality of some kind? Thing usually stay the way they were before and don’t often change into a fairytale. For real.

Adorf says that “Beautiful Bitch” is a syrup-jolly half-truth, which is superficial and has no real storyline. The only good things are  good actors and locations. Well… I say you should see for yourself. It affected me when I saw that and I can say that if you trust my taste and want to see a reality-check in between these Hollywood soap-operas and action movies, then “Beautiful Bitch” is a rather good way of getting it.

—
And if someone knows the Romanian hip-hop song (it’s not German, pay attention to the language) from the end of the movie, tell me!

Where the lost ones go?

Some people have called me up to know under what rock I’ve been hiding for so long. Well, truth to tell there’s no rock. I’ve just gotten tired of the world. Again. Why am I not touring all the local nightclubs and parties? Well… I really don’t like people from time to time. Usually there’s nothing personal in that, just me preferring to stay put alone or simply go away with a couple of friends.

Besides, I’ll be off in a couple of days anyhow. So this means I have tons of things to finish at work and to prepare myself for the unknown in the land of the Danes. Where do I get the backpack from? What the hell am I going to stuff in that? Do I have to take all this? Where the hell did all my money go to? Do I really have time for other stuff right now? Argh!

Well, not really. Even though I do like and miss some people I haven’t seen for a while now. I really do miss you, guys. But I think it’s better for everybody to wait a bit until I can have some real time to spend with you. Not the hey-nice-to-see-you-gotta-go-no-time-to-talk it would be. Well, I’m working tonight at the club, so I guess I have the time for some personal life there. If you want me, come and claim me.

—
It’s a hard life to lead, but someone’s gotta do it.

No zombies for you!

A really shitty morning, I’d say. After a couple of hours pain in the stomach (and NOT on the side of the blind gut, although it sure felt like that) I was way too fed up with that and got myself a fix of 800 mg of Ibumetin. Yeah, a nice fizzy dose to make sure I’d actually get a chance to sleep. Which made it better in the end…

Well, anyways, one thing led to another and we never made the zombie-thing. Although I do have a bunch of soft-core weird pictures in Jazz… I guess the world will soon see a new version of America’s Next Top Model. Yeah, you can guess three times where the source of that is.

The break in the countryside was good. As it happens, we also have a national holiday in Estonia, so it wasn’t only us celebrating. Which basically meant a great deal of foggy memories from a local fire’s party nearby Lennart’s place. Um. Gonna have double-check the photos to get a clearer picture.

I only hope that my computer won’t die during that process of editing and writing. The fan below is doing the notorious sounds from the times it’s hard drive was replaced almost weekly. I don’t miss these times, I really don’t. Besides the photos I have music and videos from what I have no intentions of letting go.

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The downpoint of all that is that I’m going to Roskilde in a couple of days and I’ve just found out I’m totally broke. Not good!

And you will know us by the trail of dead…

I have no idea, why, but this sentence has been haunting in my head for the past couple of days. Sounds good, so I guess no harm done. And after this night it will sound perfectly at place. We’ll be making a fresh zombie-movie and I reckon this one will be a hit. Of course much depends on the soundtrack, but I guess we’ll have no problem with that as today’s birthday-boy (yeah, Lennart, this one’s for you) is a born genius.

Had a look of the “Diamond Dust Rebellion” again. A bigger picture and not so gloomy as I remembered. Good-good, now we’re making some progress. The gramps is getting to irritate more by the minute. Like… Why the hell all those games? Or are you covering up your stupidity just by saying you knew it was coming and just wanted to get some solid proof for the Central 46 or whatever? GAAH!

—
Nevermind that. Tonight is the shortest night of the year, so we’d better make a use of it.

Good old times

Somehow I caught up in looking up my old favorites in the ‘Tube. From 911 and A1 I got to RW. I never got the reason behind the cooling of my relationship with Robbie’s music. Like… Why the hell? He’s so goddamn good and I love the songs. Why the gap then? Just so I would have the chance to renew my old love from time to time? Nah, that can’t be it. I must be just plain stupid (:

Yesterday got off the tracks. A soup at Lennart’s mom’s turned into a wine-thing at Ännely’s and then we moved to the riverbank for other bottles. 43 days of total soberness and then this. Kind of… Sobering would be such a wrong word to describe it, but it’ll do just fine. 5 bottles of red wine and all the old questions in the morning after. Hah, I just can’t deny the fact that I’m hopeless like this.

—
I’m contemplating thinking about thinking
It’s overrated – just get another drink and
Watch me come undone

Our World

Soko ni dare mo ga hohoemu hana ga saite iyou tomo
Nozomareta no nara fumitsu busu
Soko ni dare mo ga urayamu shiawase no iro ga arou tomo
Hitsuyou de are ba keshi saru

Kibou ni soeru kekka wo narabete zetsu wo asakeru zettai seishin
Sou suru koto ga sonzai riyu na no ka
Sou suru koto de shika sonzai dekinai no ka
Douyara docchi demo taishite kamawanai

—
Everyone smiles when the flowers are in bloom…

Meow meow meow!

By the way, there’s a fresh manga upload with Stark’s revelation. Can’t wait to get more!

—
And all he did was laugh that I am one crazy kitten…

Capital of what culture?

Yay. Vilnius is starting to piss me off. And that I mean literally. When I first got to the capital of culture in Europa 2009, I fell for it. The sky was blue with lovey-dovey thin clouds barely visible above. The sun was shining and I felt that I have finally reached summer. Again somewhere else.

But really. What’s wrong with the people here? I’ve only liked three people so far and one of them isn’t even Lithuanian. As for the other two, one was a guy at the Artist’s Pub and the other was the receptionist at our (new) hotel. The others have been… Never mind.

For two days it has actually been good. The parks and the museums and the old town itself – I’ve loved them. But there have been downpoints. Now I know to never ever book a hostel via Internet. The one in New York was a fail and so was the first one in Vilnius.

How come does „appartments in the old town” actually mean „an untidy room in a soviet-time building 40 minutes from the old town”? The logic of the locals is really limping both its feet. From now on I pick the places I have recommended or find a normal place on the spot. That way I could still have my 50 euros. Or actually we could have spent them somewhere shopping or whatever (I saw some good Hougyoku-like glassfigures).

At least the trainstation here is nothing like the ones in Warsaw. Apparently it’s not only the Centralna there that has no logic. But all. Krakow was okay though, but first of all, it’s a whole different city and second, that’s enough about Poland for the time being.

Vilnius. The capital of culture? Really? So how come they don’t have normal public bathrooms. I thought that the holes in the floor in the trainstation’s restroom were an anomaly. So I volunteered to pay one litas to the lady in the bus station’s. Great. Holes again. And both places are international. In what century does this place live in?

The fun part that still remains, is the feeling as if I’m in a Harry Potter movie. I went to the bus station to make sure I know where I have to be for the bus. The ticket says stop 19. What does the reality say? Stop 22, stop 21, stop 20, stop 18. Like the platform in King’s Cross station. Only I have no wall to run through to get to the Hogwarts Express…

—
Out of the blue. And I reckon there is nothing more to say…

What a catchy tune!

—
Kui ma praegu voodis poolpikali ei oleks, siis ma kukuks laua alla ja naeraks seal edasi.